and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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