just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
