Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
