I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
