apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
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