He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
