someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
