it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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