I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Randomize
