Small penises have feelings too.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
