After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
