Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
