ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
