I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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