found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
