Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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