it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
