I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
All I want is dick and wine.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
