tell your sister to shave her snatch
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
