when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
