let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
