He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
