Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
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