I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
