At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
