My first STD was from a foam party
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
