my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
