So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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