I will die if light touches me.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
