hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
