She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
try to milk me bitch
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