he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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