So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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