You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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