you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Randomize
