You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Randomize
