ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
