he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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