my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
