can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
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