forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
