his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
