At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
