There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
