peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
