i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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