I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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