there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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