careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
My balls are so social today.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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