we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
