I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
