I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
