If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Randomize
