Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
He passed out mid-signature
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
